Musafir Part 1

New journey. Pilgrimage. A journey to clear my mind from all the past and present.
A journey to improve my life to a better stature.
I wonder what happen so far in my life, I gain experience both as musician and civil engineer, meets a lot of people, making friends and enemies.
And at this point of life, I look back to myself and I realize I'm not moving anywhere.

If my life is like the drama, I guess the plot is horrible, too many confusions everywhere, and the dialogs are not in place. As the plot writer, director and sole actor, I need to scrap down the script and make revision to it. A MAJOR Revision.
Rewrite from the scratch if needed. Sacrifice more time and enjoy the years of NORMAL life to rewrite it. Fine, I'm done with that.

I used to be rebellious. And that nature will not change but shaped with determination and plan. A proper plan. I believe life is more than just growing up as adult, getting a good job, build a great family and retirement in comfort zone. I rebel against this sequences of life. But where is the source of these rebellious factors come from? My belief, perhaps? I told my musician friend I quit music, but how long that statement will remain true? I guess two months? Haha, even now I'm thinking of buying a music recording equipment and start a new project - a solo project where I'll be composing a doom/gloomy dark music. Of course not in nearest future, but not too distant maybe.

I start reading novels and collecting materials for my music project. Practicing and improving my skills in cello, violins and erhu every 6 pm. Acoustic dark music. Guitar is too mainstream for this but how about Spanish Guitar work? Sounds interesting.

Hypertension

Blood pressure - I can feel it increasing
Headache - breathless just because I eat something sweet
I guess my body cannot take it anymore
I'm aging - I'm mortal
Feel so weak - Helpless - Alone

But somewhere far
This loneliness has limits
I can feel her presence
My Beloved Diyana
She always be here with me in these voids
Loving me like a fallen angel and embrace me with the wind
And light
This soul and trust
Where kisses and warmth is dead
But Love is still here
Love is still there
The distance means nothing

Revolutionized Gabrielle delivers our voices
For every hour of moonlight and darkness
And the voices will halt
As demons awake before hours of dawn

Changes of Name

I think it's a need to change the name from Luke Stringthesizers to Lullaby of Poverty - resisting - music.

This is my fight against poverty
This round I lost
But I'll get up in no time

I have to quit the band, so I have no rights to bear the name since it's confusing.

Relieve

I have quit from my position as Stringthesizers' Vox

As I drive back to hostel,I sing the new unrecorded song "Di Sebalik Tirai Drama" out loud on my back and why suddenly feel so broke up

It's a mixed feelings, sad but somewhere deep inside I feel relieved..
And now it's time to settle down with another band - AfterLife
Planning to meet them this Saturday hopefully thing goes well
I'm going to end this in a good manner
No hatred please.

Knowing myself well, I won't be able to stop playing music
Let's see what happen then
I can't predict the future

Finally I have a chance to revive myself from my coffin of financial stressful needles
But to get up from the coffin I end up injuring my whole passion
Once I build up the life, I swear I'll go back and fight for my passion
For my music

For the time being, all the best to Stringthesizers and Afterlife
I will assist in term of ideas and new songs from far away place

"Jumpa lagi di masa akan datang"